"I Was Offended" from the book Barefoot | Rinat Shafan

A friend I love was offended by me. I didn't understand what or why, and the drama she caused made me so angry that I decided to "be offended back" and just gave up on her.

For a year I missed her. I missed her, her presence, the things I loved to share only with her. Quite a few times I almost called; I almost picked up the phone, almost, almost, but my ego took over. And he was someone who knew how to judge me, convince me that I was right, and make me entrench myself in my position until the relationship simply faded away.

After a year, we met by chance at the supermarket, between the smells of baked goods and the shelves of cleaning products. She was so happy to see me, hugged and kissed me warmly, while I remained distant, not understanding how she was able to demonstrate such closeness after the breakup. From there we continued for a beer, because it was clear to both of us that there were things that needed to be said. I waited for her to start explaining what had happened then, but she chose a different approach:

"I don't even remember what I was offended about," she said, "It probably wasn't that significant. I just wanted to check my place in your life. I wanted you to fight for me. I was waiting for you to knock on the door with a bouquet of flowers and tell me: 'Atone for your sins, Keren, you scoundrel, make some coffee and don't mess with my mind.' That's all, just that. I wanted proof that I was important to you. When you disappeared, I just realized that I wasn't."

When she finished speaking, I realized that there was no point in presenting my interpretation of events. I realized that I was wrong. I felt sorrow for an entire year that had passed, a year of meetings, outings, shopping, the smell of coffee in carts, and conversations that didn't happen just because I had withdrawn into my assumptions and ego.

I looked at her and just said: "Sorry. I was wrong. I miss you a lot too. There have been so many 'almosts' this year, I almost called, I almost texted, I almost walked by your house and went in... but it doesn't matter. Just make some coffee and don't confuse my mind."

What did I learn?

• Don't give up on friends you love to be around. Fight for them: Sometimes the other person just needs to know that they are important enough for you to make an effort for them.
• Let go of assumptions: misinterpretation and ego are a surefire recipe for losing valuable relationships.
• Not every relationship is worthy of war "at all costs," but if the longing exists, it's a sign that there is something to fight for.
• But I also learned that nothing comes at any price, and there is also time to release some of them.

The writer: Rinat Shafan – An educator, lecturer, and author of the books: "Sun," "A Simple Story About Sensitivity," and "Barefoot," and I came to a pretty simple conclusion: The best stories are written from life itself.. 
You are invited to follow, find yourself between the lines, and walk with me in bare words. – To purchase, click here.