Hero choices: "I give it a fair chance but I have high expectations for the number I chose."

"Faced with two difficult choices, a person often does not seek the right choice,
"But the one that will cause him the least amount of remorse." (The fall, Albert Camus)

Sometimes, when I'm reading a really good book, I get morbid feelings like, 'What if something happens and I can't finish it and I'll never know how it ended?' And then it's hard for me to put the book down. I try to finish one more chapter before bed, and there's nothing like forgetting to turn off the light and falling asleep with the book in my hand, like a forest of nightshades. Sometimes I wake up for a moment when the man takes off my glasses and turns off the reading lamp, and there's something about that gesture that, for me, is part of the good reading experience.

Reaching the final page of a book evokes mixed emotions. On the one hand, the relief that it's over and I've gotten to read the end, and on the other hand, the sadness of saying goodbye to something good that happened to me, a bit like the end of a pleasant vacation. Then comes the difficult moment of לבחור. Who will entertain / excite / overshadow / make my next nights laugh? It's a tough choice. There's no way in this life, even if I pondered them day and night, that I'll get to read all the books I've dreamed of. This realization used to make me sad. Today I feel like there's more pleasure and depth in my reading, perhaps because I realize that it's my choice over all the other books and, as such, worth my time. Of course, there's also the matter of books that 'waste my time' and I develop a grudge against them. In the past, I had to finish a book if I started it. Today, there's no way. I give a book a fair chance but I have high expectations of the book I've chosen.

The turbulent days in our Israel bring us to a choice at the ballot box. A man and a woman and their ballot. Yes, I may be one of the last of the Mohicans here who does not feel the need to eat the hearts of those who do not think like me and sell them for a handful of Zuzi berries. Yes, I am saddened if people, especially women, do not exercise their right to vote. I am the first generation born in Israel to two wonderful people who came from countries where women still do not have the right to vote, so this issue is of great importance to me. In the book Your own room story Virginia Woolf "There is no gate, no lock, no bolt that can impose freedom of thought."I want to continue living in a world where I am free not only to think but to speak out and choose, to give my voice to those I deem worthy. After all, every literary hero and heroine faces a big choice in their journey. It is always fascinating to know what they will ultimately decide and to imagine what they gained and to grieve what they lost from their choice. Like life itself, isn't it?

This month, my childhood favorite writer ended his journey in our lives. Yehuda Atlas, remember it with blessing. Although he is no longer here to further enrich Israeli shelf life, he has accompanied me personally since childhood every time I turn on the tap and cold drops come and I wash my hands only with my fingertips or on the way home the crying subsides, I saw my mother start again. Just as the quotes of a pale tracker "live in me", so the pearls of the children's mind reader, Yehuda Atlas, accompany the shelves of my mind. Here is a quote of his about choice:
"In a toy store, they let me choose one toy,
But from everything they showed me, I didn't find anything special.
So in the end I took what the saleswoman said,
Because I wasn't even sure they would take me to another store." (This child is also me, Yehuda Atlas)

Wrote David Grossman "Every smile, every decision, every turn right or left in a dark alley – they are choices that we question before we even have time to make them. We are a people who live with regret for the paths we did not take." (The Inner Grammar Book, David Grossman). I don't know about you, but I don't intend to regret not exercising my right to vote. I've already voted enough times in my life to be disappointed by my choices and also strengthened by other choices, and I would do all of them again, these are my choices and no one can take them away from me.  

To a life of freedom of choice
May we be able to accept the other's freedom to choose as they see fit.
And there is one good choice you can make today – choose to read at least one book this year.

Pleasant reading and may good words be by your side always,
Lily