Rozan Shahada from Haifa - a Bedouin who ran away from violence and toxic relationships in the family

Rozan Shahada's house is in one of the many neighborhoods on the back of Mount Carmel. When the entrance door to the sanctuary opens, all we see is a big smile shining with white and perfect teeth and sparkling doe eyes.

Roseanne (born in 1990) looks like a young, thin girl, about 1.55 m tall - but on another look we will notice a well-kept, fashionable and majestic woman.

Rozan was born in Kfar Qasim, to a Bedouin family that came to the place from the Beer Sheva area and her first name was Rukiya, Rukiya bint Muhammad (after the daughter of the Prophet of Islam Muhammad from his wife Khadija) - this was at a time when the hidden was more than revealed in her family's history.

Grew up in institutions, shelters and boarding schools

Rukia/Rozan was a Bedouin-Muslim girl, only 13 years old, who showed great courage when she actually ran away from the severe violence she experienced in her family. She grew up in institutions, shelters and boarding schools where she found the figures of parents who raise and empower her.

Later in her life there was a young mother who ran away, along with her two tiny daughters, from her battering husband - directly to a shelter for battered women, until her very existence A mentor who serves as a consultant, guide and helps women from all sectors to break free from the cycle of violence.

In their residence: violence against women - an integral part of daily life

The origin of her family members - her parents, her parents' parents and the tribe of uncles and aunts - is from the Beer Sheva area. These moved to live in Kfar Qasim and have a lot of property, lands, houses and other assets.

She grew up in a Bedouin-Muslim home and has two twin sisters who are about a year older than her and two brothers who are younger than her.

Rukia (who only officially changed her name to 'Roseanne' at the age of 18) says that in their time violence against women was an integral part of the routine of life.

Moreover, the boys could have everything they wanted and could even do anything that came to their minds. In contrast, the daughters of the family - the purpose of their role was to answer 'Amen' to everything and anything said by the men of the house, as well as to serve them at any time.

The social structure of the Bedouin population

In general (with the exception of a few cases), it can be said that the social structure of the Bedouin population is characterized by a patriarchal regime on which there is general agreement. In this regime, the man has an honorable status, when he is the one who rules over the woman, and the older man rules over the younger one.

Male domination is expressed in the control of the father, brother and husband over the Bedouin woman in everything related to the imposition of punishment, the limits of freedom and the expression of opinion, when these things delimit and define her behavior.

Until her marriage, the Bedouin woman is subject to her father and is under his protection and supervision, while after her marriage she is under the protection and supervision of her husband.

That is, the Bedouin woman from her birth is a kind of property and property of the man. Likewise, the relations of power and submission practiced in Bedouin society extend beyond the daily division of roles: a man is allowed to engage in jobs suitable for a man, and everything else falls on the woman.

In the village she also saw a different way of life

The family home in Kfar Kasem was a large house that was close to the regional cemetery. When she was a child of about 8-9 years old, at night, her father drove her to take care of and serve his mother. This despite the fact that she was supposed to walk a distance of several kilometers alone and even pass the local cemetery.

Of course, Emma could not resist this order, especially in light of the unfortunate fact that the father and mother's families were in powerful and constant rivalry.

In the houses of the Muslim neighbors in the village, she saw a different way of life. In particular, she remembers one neighbor who took her under her wing and allowed her to look after her children (a sort of babysitter) for a few hours. But Elia and a thorn in her side: when she went to stay with that fancy neighbor who had the luxurious jeep and the beautiful house - her younger brother informed her father about it, and then Halez whipped her.

Reality versus dreams

Rukia studied at the school in Kfar Qasim. The hardships of life at home did not leave her any possibility to be free for studies. She tells about a childhood in the shadow of fear and constant terror, about sleepless nights and a very sad emotional and mental state. She continues and says that we never see a smile on the mother's face, which shows that she was probably in severe depression.

The father's violence was reported to the police at the time, and once he even spent several days in detention. Beyond that, she claims, no one in the extended family or the community tried to help them.

All this happened when in the houses of her friends from school the reality was completely different. They told her about a different and different world where she dreamed of being. She aspired to get out of the prison of her home, but did not know how to do so, since she was not allowed to go visit and play at her classmates' houses or talk to the neighbors.

The money from her work in greenhouses - Hotman in the yard

The girl Rukia was only ten years old when she started planning her escape route from the violent home where she grew up. She realized that in order to get out of her situation she had to do it with her own strength alone. She also realized that in order to escape she would need money.

Severe economic violence was inflicted on the mother of the family, so there was hardly any money with which she could realize her plan. She started asking to check and get interested - and found work in flower greenhouses, strawberry velvet fields and vegetable fields (according to the seasons).

Rukia suggested that her mother convince the father of the family that on Fridays of the week he would allow them to go to work together. The silver eyes charmed him and he allowed them to go out to work in the vegetable fields. She hid the money she earned from her work in the greenhouses and buried it in the yard. For two years, she secretly saved Mamona, knowing clearly that she would need this cache, the moment she decided to implement her plan.

There is a different world here

During the picking, the girl/girl was exposed to a foreign and strange world than the one she knew. She observed different forms of clothing, saw women talking to men and realized that there are women who can reach a different status than what was assigned to her in her family.

Furthermore, one day she was invited to her classmate's birthday party. The parents of this girl were a couple of Muslim doctors who lived in a luxurious villa in Kfar Qasim, and even sent their child on study and holiday visits to distant London...

Already as a child Rukia understood that "there is a world here that I don't know, but I want it too, and even yearn to be a part of it... and even I can be in it!"

She fearlessly bought a unique device - and hid it

As a child she suffered a herniated disc in her back, so that on the occasions when the violence at home caused her excruciating pain, shock and injuries that required a medical examination - she would travel with her mother to the doctor at the health fund in Kfar Saba. There she would observe the world that was waiting for her... she saw food stalls next to clothing stalls, as well as more and more shops.

Following the stories of the students at school, she understood the beginning of the history of the Internet and mobile phones. During one of her visits to the KPF in Kfar Saba, near the clothing stand, she saw a stand selling mobile phones. Secretly, but Without fear she buried her hand in her pocket where she put part of a meter, and bought a unique device This: a mobile phone with a loaded SIM card (Talk Man type). 
On her return to the house in Kfar Qasim, she hurried to hide the closed box in a safe place.

"You have to shut up, keep quiet, and then he won't kill you"

One day the father entered the family home and started beating the mother. It was one of the most blatant and difficult times, as the mother was full of bleeding wounds, and quite a few dry blows that left her with blue marks. In the face of the severe violence, the children froze. When the father got up and left - then the mother also left and went to her parents' house.

Bleeding, with torn clothes on her body, they followed her crying. The people of the village saw what was happening, but none of them saw fit to intervene.

The grandmother took care of her injured house, wrapped her and explained to her that she could not stay in their residence. After about half an hour, the uncles, the mother's older brothers, arrived at the house of the grandparents, came in and informed her that she had nothing to look for there and furthermore that she should immediately return to her husband's house. They added the warning and said:You have to shut up, keep quiet, and then he won't hit or kill you".

Kfar Kasem - Kfar Saba - Tel Aviv

This bloody event happened when Rukia was about 13 years old, a girl/girl united by her decision to escape from hell. Deliberately, precisely on one of the Fridays of the week, the day of the escape arrived: the money was taken out of its hiding place and even a few words of farewell were said in front of the mother.

Thanks to those trips to the doctor in Kfar Saba - she knew how to tell the taxi driver the address of the hospital, and from there the road to Tel Aviv was already less stressful.

At the time, her Hebrew was shaky, but somehow it allowed her to rent a room at a low price. For three days she did not move from this hiding place, except to buy shawarma dishes, drink and some western clothes. After this timeout, the hidden phone, which had been prepared ahead of time, was taken out of its box and she called the police.

In a conversation with the police it became clear that the people of the village were looking for her. Since there were past and present conflicts between the families, everyone assumed she was kidnapped. That's why the police's work assumption here is the opportunity to return her to her home in Kfar Qasim.

The road north to the policeman/angel in Kiryat Haifa

Rukia understood and decided to stay away from the place. For the first time in her life, she boarded a train heading north, with the destination being Haifa.

She remembered that her mother's sisters lived in the south, and it was clear to her that one should not go to that area - what's more, the one and only time when she participated in a school trip, they reached Haifa. On a trip to the city of Carmel, she was exposed to the fact that there are other religions in the world, and even realized that the Haifa area is an area that accepts and accommodates people of all religions.

The train, which was speeding north, swerved and stopped in the Kiryat area... where she again called the police.

With great passion she told the policeman that there was no one who could help her, but in her voice was the message that amidst the distress there was also hope that there are good people in the world. Even today, she remembers and says that the policeman did indeed recognize the confusion and crisis in her voice, and in the act of Mishna Haim gave her his private phone number and even explained that there are organizations that can help and assist even in such desperate situations.

It goes without saying that Rokia had never heard of the 'Ministry of Welfare', and did not know that there was such a thing as help from the state. Following a phone call from this year of life, a new and amazing world opened up to her. The only request from that police officer/angel was that he come to the assembly and take it without a uniform and without a police escort.

From there, with the help of the local welfare department, the road to the shelter was short. It was clear and understandable that the situation was at a high level of danger, so she was transferred to a closed boarding school, with youth whose situation is also difficult and even challenging.

A therapeutic and educational framework for girls in distress situations

She was placed in a day care center that was a therapeutic and educational setting for Arab girls in distress, risk and life-threatening situations. The daycare center is designed for these girls and provides them with a framework with clear boundaries, in order to stop their mental, behavioral and social deterioration, all this together with a protective and protected space that allows them to reorganize. The daycare center is located in the village of Julis and is operated by a government operator.

Within the walls of the daycare center there is a school that is managed according to a coherent and understandable plan designed for the target audience. The program is based on a world view that sees education as a fundamental condition for social mobility and a means for the normative integration of youth in distress right into the normative society.

As part of the school, the girls benefit from theoretical studies that correspond to the stages of education in formal education, and include completion of up to 12 years of schooling and matriculation. Also, as part of the studies, professional training is provided according to the level of the girls who are in this therapeutic setting.

Kfar Yasif - Haifa

After about two days in the therapeutic framework - and with the help of the welfare department, contact with family members was renewed. Under the auspices of an 'uncle adopter', the mother and her children moved to Kfar Yasif, with the father coming to visit about once a week. Although if the family still "lived in their own world", the two young brothers grew up and became "menacing as monsters". The little brother became a big strong and muscular boy. Therefore at this time the problem was no longer the father, but his "soldiers" who began to control her, command her and even limit her steps.

This time too, Rukia was not going to give up the essence of her freedom, the absence of constraints, necessity or coercion, and unlimited possibilities of action. Again she decided to leave the family home, but this time in a more planned and more sophisticated way.

It was prepared ahead of time to perform its pre-defined action. She knew that one morning her mother was planning a trip in honor of a family wedding held in the Triangle area. Near the mother's exit from the house, Rukia very stealthily took her brother's cell phone, left the house and even locked the front door on its occupants.

She ran away to Haifa again, again turned to the policeman who helped her last time, and returned to a therapeutic setting. This time it was the "Hostel on Haim Street" in Haifa (later, this hostel was already closed), where they continued and taught her how to manage the rest of her life.

Shop window designer - as 'Shoshana' in a Haifa apartment

At the age of 18, she walked towards the life of freedom. First thing and officially changed her name. Rukia chose her new name based on the affectionate nickname that her friends came up with for her "Rose - as a year between the waves" and turned it into her new official name: 'Roseanne'.

She found a job and moved into her own apartment, the "Dream Apartment on Rashi Street in Haifa" and from there she started and went to work. First as a cleaner and dishwasher at Cafe Aroma in the Grand Canyon, and then she progressed from a cashier position in a clothing store to becoming a window designer at the H&M chain: A role called VM which included skills in visual and commercial marketing of the collection in the store, design and positioning of the store spaces and design of shop windows.

Roseanne Shahada and the first physical slap

At the age of 17, while in Kfar Yasif, she met an Arab-Christian guy from Haifa to whom she told the story of her life. Over time, the relationship became more substantial and when she was about 24 years old, the two moved in together. After a few years, she converted to Christianity in order to marry him - and at the age of 27 the two were married.

With the birth of the eldest daughter, this marriage also became a trap of violence and fear. It started with economic and mental violence. After Rozan gave up her job and joined her husband's business (wedding dresses and evening dresses in Daliat El Carmel) he also began to control her. All of a sudden she had to ask for permission for every expense and every shekel. When the second daughter was born and was only three months old... she even arrived The first physical slap.

An argument during which her husband got angry and... choked her

In her senses Rozan Shahada, who had already been through enough in her life, understood what was to come. Therefore, immediately after receiving the slap in the face she called the police. Immediately, these came and arrested him. Her husband received a removal order, and ten months to be out of their shared home.

His family members tried to intervene and compromise, and he even promised that he would undergo rehabilitative treatment. After about 11 months he returned to their home. But even when he returned, he rummaged through her purse and her life and constantly wanted to know where she was.

Once again she realized that she would have to rely only on herself. Roseanne found another job and started saving money. One day an argument began during which she did not give up her position. At this stage he is very angry, irritated and foaming...
And then - strangled her.

Roseanne did not object. She knew how to understand the seriousness of the situation, so much so that she absolutely had to not move, lest indeed he might kill her. When she tried to escape, she discovered that the front door was locked. He grabbed her hair, stood and said that the police should not be involved. While he was speaking, suddenly and fortunately, he received an important phone call and had to leave the house and go. As soon as he left the place, we locked the door and called a police car.

Be'er Sheva - a shelter for battered women

Roseanne took her two tiny daughters - one about three years old and the other less than a year old - carrying only a bag of baby milk and her personal thoughts - and fled to a shelter for battered women. In her senses she realized that at that time it was the best option for her and her daughters.

They stayed in a shelter for battered women in Be'er Sheva, and were again classified as high risk. On a crooked path, her partner managed to reach the playground where they were. This did not deter Roseanne who obtained another restraining order against him.

The three stayed in Be'er Sheva for about eight months until Rozan decided to leave the shelter and go back to life.

A counselor and instructor who helps women break free from the cycle of violence

While staying at the shelter in Be'er Sheva, Rozan discovered her vocation: to be a mentor who serves as a guidance counselor and helps women from all sectors to break free from the cycle of violence.

In the shelter, she noticed women who return to the shelter for the second and third time - then she realized that she had to help herself and prove to them that it was possible in another way as well. Roseanne emphasizes that, paradoxically, she founded her business for rescuing battered women while she herself was sheltered in this women's shelter.

Today Rozan Shahada's home is in one of the many neighborhoods on the back of Mount Carmel, where she lives with her two daughters, teaching, supporting, lecturing and accompanying women on the way to their personal independence.

She teaches them how to become mentally strong and how to protect themselves, and above all - how to take advantage of their rights and the most resources available to them from the various authorities, and with the help of all these to become independent in general and financially in particular.

sews and embroiders her dreams

In her house, Rosanne's favorite corner is the computer corner. there she is sews and embroiders her dreams. She can do this quietly and peacefully because since she left the shelter for battered women, she has been protected as part of the "Michel Patrol".

The above is a project that provides, free of charge, an "iron suit" to every threatened woman, regardless of who she is. The services of this project include a package of security services, self-defense classes, and a warning letter from an attorney's office against any threatening entity. In addition, a distress button and a security camera are installed in her home.

Now Chaya Rozan types her musings, feelings and thoughts in her mind, which is in the work corner, and prepares for her next lecture, which is intended for an audience of women only.

Her lecture will deal with the issues of women's rights, and how it is appropriate to deal with any difficulty that may arise. Roseanne will also explain how to stop suffering and pain, and what the woman's options are to protect herself.

Angelina and Eva

She raises her daughters, whom she often photographs and documents, in a completely different way from the way she was raised. Angelina (inspired by Angelina Jolie, an American actress, filmmaker and humanitarian) and Eva (a name referring to the first woman in the world and a powerful female energy) - study in Jewish settings, they speak Hebrew and Arabic, and most importantly - learn to be independent.

It is important to Roseanne that her daughters grow up in a place that recognizes and cherishes the rights of women. She teaches them what the concept of 'self-worth' is, plays with them in the 'games of possibilities' that money provides and discusses with them the issues of personal independence and financial independence - so that they depend only on themselves and especially not on a man.

the wardrobe

Until the time she ran away from her home in Kfar Qasim at the age of 13, Rukia/Rozan wore a traditional Arab garment called an abaya (Arabic: عباة, عَبَاءَة or عَبَايَة). It is a long dress that also includes a head covering and is considered the traditional dress of women in Arab and Islamic society.

When she left her parents' home and lived in institutions and boarding schools, she adopted modern western clothing. What's more, during the aforementioned several years, she functioned as a window designer in the H&M network: a role called VM and included visual and commercial marketing skills for the collection in the store.

Therefore, today Roseanne's wardrobe is a closet that contains fashionable clothing details. Each and every garment receives full attention when it is presented or folded perfectly, befitting a VM woman in a contemporary fashion network.

the blue dress

Roseanne is very attached to all the details of the clothing she wears. However, the most precious item to Liva, and which she guards with all vigilance, is a short-sleeved summer dress in the shade of blue jeans.

She received this unique dress from one of the instructors at the boarding school where she was a student. At that time, her selection of clothes was extremely limited, and with difficulty she turned to the staff of instructors with a request to buy or receive western clothing details.

Today, she wears this blue dress only during special events, in the trend "not to waste the favorite garment".

'Bedouin sitting' - on a chair, on a carpet and during playtime

Even on a regular chair - Roseanne's form of yeshiva characterizes the form of the Bedouin yeshiva culture. Also, she often sits not on the chairs in the house, but rather on the large carpet that decorates the living space.

To the same extent, she does this when she plays with her daughters, while "beating them with Torah"... the Torah of Independence!

It goes without saying that 'Bedouin sitting' or what is called by the crowd 'laundry sitting' is one of the oldest postures in the world, which has deteriorated due to modern life and sitting on a chair.

As we know, today this basic pose is difficult for many adults to perform, despite its notable advantages: lengthening the Achilles tendon, stretching the lower back, strengthening the hip joint and correcting posture.

'I lived among you like a wild plant' - inspiration and proof that change is possible

'I lived among you like a wild plant' is a story by Amalia Hasem. A book that Roseanne connects with the most. Therefore, this is the book she takes out of her library as her favorite book.

Amalia Gzem, who was born as Zalha, is the daughter of a Bedouin family living in a village in the north of the country. Difficult life circumstances led her to live with a Jewish family whose members are Holocaust survivors. In their residence, Zelha/Amalia was torn between the two worlds and did not find her place in it. The great difference between the world of her Bedouin family and the norms that exist in it and the world of the Jewish community did not spare her feelings of suffering, pain, discrimination and separation.

Beyond that and in addition to this, this is a book that discusses the power found in the human soul and its ability to emerge from the brokenness and create a new and good world without poverty, abuse and violence.

This is a life story that touches the story of Rozan Shahada, a story of the victory of spirit over matter, a story of heroism, Inspiration and proof that change is indeed possible he.

The book "Hell" - is also intended to be a movie

Now Chaya is writing her own story to Roseanne. She does this together and with the help of the journalist Avi Shaoli who watched her ads on 'Tik Tok'. In recent years, he was a senior correspondent in the capital market of the newspaper "Globes", and before that he worked as a reporter in the economic section of the ynet website, and even before that he was involved in the high-tech sector, at the companies Amdocs, Pelephone and Vodafone in Hungary.

The book, which is even intended to be photographed, bears the name "Hell". It carries with it the plots of Roseanne's life, her feelings and also her ability to look at the good things that happened to her during her complicated life.

In her book, she details things about the inner fire that burns in her, and also explains between its pages what she strives for and wishes for: her unequivocal belief that every woman, regardless of who she is, can live her life without any fear, without fear and without any fear.