I was afraid of this day that was this week, the dreaded date of October 7th. It felt that as long as it didn't pass, something could still be fixed. Has it really been a year? It was a sad day, it was evident that the grief frequency was transmitted strongly, I felt it in my body and soul. As in the rest of the country, here too, at Beit Gabriel we gathered for a ceremony that tried to gather us and our fragments. My young woman on the drums, with the members of the youth recital, echoed in singing and playing the faces and names of Danny Robs. Just looking at them, our children, threw me back to October last year.
The terrible days
When those terrible days began, like most of us, I never imagined they would last so far. Beyond the shock, the fear and the paralyzing pain, I would look at my daughters and my heart inside... asking for forgiveness. This is the first time, even though there have been other wars in the last 19 years, that I have asked myself "to what world have I brought them?".
It took me many days and months to stop being there, at the bottom of the well without a rope to pick me up. But I had to, for them, because it is a privilege to sink into grief. And now, a year later, I look at the youth and see how they align and bring their best and work with what is available. And they have something for them to live and create and do.
Became heroes not by choice
In the lecture that followed the ceremony, the journalist Omri Essenheim told about some people, some of those who became heroes by choice and lost so much in one moment on that date. And they couldn't even stop for a moment, sit down, mourn, because beyond their loved ones who were murdered, they have other family members who were kidnapped. but.
Something I took for granted - the right to grieve. And a day after October 7, I realized that this is what we, as a nation, got from this day, from the ceremonies, from hugging together in pain - we got this moment, to stop, to remember, to cry, to mourn.
Yom Kippur eve
And now, on the eve of Yom Kippur, it is so 'appropriate' to come close to mourning, to requests for forgiveness. And maybe we can for a moment forgive Also to ourselves for not being a 'hundred' this year. And maybe we'll add too Thanks, for being here even at the end of that year. And maybe we'll end up withrequest, that all the families among us may have the right to unite, mourn, rebuild. build better.
And in the midst of all these, I have a book, which I was not able to finish until early this morning. I chose to read it because of the title that felt accurate to me this week: My (not so) perfect life. the writer Sophie Kinsella Free to write about the normal things in life, ones that you can turn to when there is no war on our lives as a nation. Thus, despite the title that expressed my feelings this week, it was difficult for me to concentrate and switch to reading a light book. That's why the great editor here at the paper is getting my column two days late.
A light, fun, entertaining book
Happily, in the end my developed reading skills won out and I was able to sink in many hours of enjoyment that took me away from the boring news.
In this book, Kinsella tackles the subject of false lives that people lead on Instagram. The protagonist of the book, Katie, knows that her Instagram is full of false news that enhances her sad reality and it takes her a long journey to understand that just as her Instagram is pretending, so are the others she thinks their lives are perfect.
It's a light, fun, entertaining book. I enjoyed reading it and now, I will release same to our beautiful library. I'm not going to hunt down my own copy, as I won't read it again, but it did make me want to bookmark more of Sophie Kinsella's books.
my mantra
I chose Katie's quote as if it came out of my own mouth. Those who know me know that this is my mantra for walking and endorphins:
"I do all kinds of things to try to suppress the fear. I've rearranged my hammock. I've rearranged the monthly budget so that it lasts for two months. I walk a lot, because, you know, walking is free. Besides it releases endorphins so, in theory, it's Should cheer me up." (p. 151)
Book details:
My (Not So) Perfect Life by Sophie Kinsella, Armchair Publishing, 2018.
Finished a good signature, may we have a reboot of the soul with petitions for a new dawn.
Pleasant reading and may good words be by your side always,
Lily