(haipo) - "We got through Pharaoh, we recovered from the Holocaust, we will get through this too" - So says Prof. Rivka Yahav, who founded the School of Psychotherapy at the University of Haifa and ran it for 30 years. She is the woman who stands by the side of the old-new mayor of Haifa, Yona Yahav, and of course, an impressive and special woman in her own right.
In an interview with Lahi Fe, Prof. Yahav talks about the current war and its consequences from her point of view, and tells about the many efforts to aid and provide help to the families of abductees and evacuees, an effort that began on the first day of the war, on that Black Sabbath.
"A completely different war"
"The current war presents the State of Israel with an unprecedented challenge," says Prof. Yahav. She is a Haifaite by birth, a psychotherapist, founded the program for studying psychoanalytic psychotherapy at the University of Haifa and managed the interdisciplinary clinical center at the Faculty of Welfare and Health Sciences at the university. Yahav mobilized immediately after the events of October 7 for the benefit of victims of anxiety, families who lost their loved ones, families of abductees, families of evacuees, just as she did at every opportunity during her life. But this time, according to her, it is a completely different war - a war in which there is such a huge number of civilian victims, the feelings that accompany it - the surprise, the break - these have no equal in the history of the State of Israel."
Prof. Yahav is married to the mayor of Haifa, Yona Yahav. She is the daughter of Holocaust survivor parents, she lost her first husband in the Yom Kippur War, so beyond her professionalism and rich experience in care and support, she also has the deep ability to empathize with the feelings of pain and bereavement of those who are experiencing them at their peak these days. And just as she did in Israel's previous wars, on the very first day of the war she did not hesitate for a moment and immediately mobilized to help the victims, out of a great sense of mission.
A traumatic morning for everyone
Yahav says about the Shabbat in October: "It is a traumatic morning for all citizens. There is no one who is not horrified by the sights and sounds on television. I remember seeing my children correspond - the girl wrote, 'Everything is fine, I left the MMD,' and the son wrote, 'Nothing is fine, we started a war '. We immediately turned on the TV, and from that moment we didn't move from it."
She immediately began helping anyone who needed it - be it anxiety victims, bereaved families, trauma victims, since then she has not stopped, and she accompanies bereaved families and displaced families, bringing with her her professional and personal experience, helping to deal with the pain and loss. In addition, she also joined the emergency room in her neighborhood.
Heartbreaking stories
"The stories of the people I met are heartbreaking. Already in the first week I treated people from the Gaza Strip, from Moshavim, from kibbutzim, from Sderot - they came with stories that shook my heart. The hard feelings, the knowledge that your family is in danger and you have no way to help them, the guilt that the people felt, that they did So much and still felt that it was not enough - all of these touch the heart in a deep way," she says.
"Inferno and hell that cannot be described in words"
Yahav tells about the shock and the unimaginable pain that are the lot of the abductees' families: "None of us would want to stand in their place," she says. "The break and tension they experience is unbearable. The uncertainty, the worry that gnaws at every moment, and the understanding that helplessness is an inseparable part of the situation, all create an infernal feeling and a hell that cannot be described in words."
She wishes to address the general public with a call to take to the streets and support the families in demanding the return of the abductees: "From October 8, I say that the first thing that should have been done was to return the abductees, only then react."
refugees in their country
Yahav talks about the struggles of the evacuees, people who lost everything they had: "They were displaced from their homes, they lost the most basic things they had. The evacuees are like refugees in their country, people who have been displaced from their homes and find it difficult to cope with a new and difficult reality. When I went to the hotels and offered my help, I didn't stop thinking about the mother of one of my friends, who is a 100-year-old Holocaust survivor, who told how she traveled in Europe and saw women hanging laundry near their house and asked if she would ever have the same..." Her story immediately reminded me of the evacuees who were displaced from their homes and do not have the basic things that they had in their normal lives."
She describes the feelings and the complexity of their situation: "Those who have a roof over their heads are among the lucky few. But there are many who lost their homes and their basic security. Winter came and we found ourselves looking for clothes and basic things for them. Children have to get used to new schools, new settings , and moving from hotels to rented apartments creates a sense of refugees in their own country."
Just be for them
"In the current situation, the guiding words are inclusion and empathy. The ability to see the hardships of others and be by their side. It is important not to rush or push them, but to understand how difficult it is for them to adapt to a new environment. Some of them move from middle school to high school - once again they have to adapt to a new environment, without their home theirs, without the personal corner, the desk or the close friends. The feelings they experience are difficult, and what we can give them is simply to be there for them. The education system also needs to support them, and I call on the whole environment to support, invite, embrace and be there for them."
Out of pain comes growth
"The consequences of what we went through are like an open wound - right now it's bleeding and later it will heal, but it will leave a scar." says Yahav. "We know that today there is also post-traumatic growth, and although the absolute majority of people, about 70% to 80%, will manage to overcome and recover, there will still be a certain share of people who will continue to carry the trauma for a long time and will need additional treatments. Some of them were exposed to the sights in Gaza, Others experienced the events at the Nova party, each of them carries the experience in their own context."
"I see three circles of victims - those who were directly affected, their families, and us, who watch this harsh reality through the screen. Although we all deal with the situation, each one does so in different circumstances and in different ways."
The usual resilience
"The resilience of our society is evident in that it continues to maintain a routine. People go out, hang out and try to maintain a routine, which is very important. If we lost that routine, it would be difficult to get it back. For example, after the fire in Carmel, the whole area was burned , but a year later a new growth began. Over time, the new green that grew became stronger and more prosperous than it was before. This is also how in crises of this kind - from the pain and the break also come growth and change."
to be for each other
"Although we continue with the emergency routine and each of us copes in a different way - there are those who suppress a little in order to survive, and there are those who find the strength to volunteer and mobilize for others. I recommend to everyone who is able to do so, to volunteer and mobilize for help. It gives a sense of meaning and helps to reduce the feeling of insignificance the powers
At first there was a great and amazing mobilization, but now we are starting to experience attrition. You can't hold it for a long time with the same intensity, but it's important to continue to find ways to help and be there for each other."
gather strength and face
"Our point of departure is that we have no control over what will happen tomorrow. If we had, we would do things differently," Yahav says when she refers to the tension and close observation we are currently experiencing around the possibility of war and its expansion, which is at the heart of the public discourse. "We don't know when it will happen, how it will happen and how the country will be run, therefore, as soon as it happens, we will have to mobilize the forces accordingly and deal with it."
to let go and let go
"I remember the waiting period during the Six Day War, when I was a girl - it was a tense and nerve-wracking wait. Even today, people are in a state of waiting, but as soon as you have no possibility to influence or intervene, it is important to let go and assume, because the restlessness and anxiety are gnawing and unhelpful. One should prepare without stress and panic. Make sure one has all the necessary things according to the instructions of the Home Command - water, food, a protected space and all the necessary equipment."
"We'll get through this too"
"Every war brings with it its surprises. We got through Pharaoh, we will get through this too. We recovered from the Holocaust, and I am sure that with all the pain, sorrow, and difficult and mixed emotions, we will learn the lessons, get down from our arrogance and build a better society here," concludes Yahav .
Rivka Yahav is an amazing woman with a fantastic capacity for emotional expression, charming and beloved, thank you for the detailed article
Every word in the rock...