Last March (2024) the Miss World competition was held, this time without a representative from Israel. The winner of the title was Kristina Fishkova from the Czech Republic. In the past there were Israeli women who won, Rina Moore, now a lawyer, won the title of Israel's beauty queen and then Miss World in 1976, and Lenor Abergil, also a lawyer today and a businesswoman, won the title of Israel's beauty queen in 1998 and then the title of Miss Universe.
Since 1996, the organization that initiates the Miss World contest began to initiate a contest for men, for the title of Mr. World, unlike the title of Mr. World in bodybuilding, Mr. Universe is a beauty title for men, when they are chosen like the women according to physical assessments and personality tests that ask the contestants to have a humane attitude and love A person. The last winner so far was in 2019, a guy named Jack Haselwood from England. From 1996 to 2000, a weekly magazine for women held a beauty contest for Israeli men, and the winner represented Israel in the Mr. World contest.
Beauty is a matter of geography
The image of beauty has changed over the generations and with the geography of the migration of peoples. It seems that in poorer countries, a rounded woman was considered the symbol of perfection and the symbol of abundance and fertility, and in the society of abundance it seems as if the women were asked to have a thin, almost boyish body, to symbolize female vitality. African tribesmen who came to the West in the first generations advocated wide skirts as an element of attraction in women, and over time, accepted the beauty laws of the white Western man and the women had to lose weight in order to be considered beautiful and attractive.
Between the excessive chubby ones with excess weight that harms health, and the boyish thinness and self-starvation to the point of harming health, there were times when a woman needed a large chest, wide hips, a flat stomach and a smile that said - I am beautiful and silent. Or like Hedi Lamarr, the beautiful actress who developed, together with the composer George Antheil, the transmission of radio waves in frequency hopping - which later enabled the development of wireless communication and cellular communication - "Any girl can be glamorous. All she has to do is stand still and be seen stupid".
Brave, rich and with a sense of humor
The matter of male beauty was less at the center of culture, because men had to be breadwinners, strong and able to carry the family on their backs. And yet, a poll conducted by a Hollywood magazine presented George Clooney as the most desirable man in the world, followed by Brad Pitt and Bradley Cooper. And all this based on external appearance and characters they played in movies, without the respondents knowing their true personality in their private lives.
It turns out that in the seemingly modern Western culture, men are supposed to be a bit muscular, brave, and have many skills, earn a lot and be generous, smell good and behave with discretion and humor in order to be considered attractive. Reality shows that it was possible for men to have a belly or baldness, and as long as they are brave and have financial power, shapely women will also be attracted to them.
Women in that world, in Western culture, are asked to have a flat stomach, a face without wrinkles and eyes that smile with inclusion and intelligence. It seems that a lot has changed in recent decades in the more enlightened countries, where women occupy significant positions in leadership, economy and society and men are allowed to be sensitive and share their thoughts, and they do not have to be the main breadwinners.
"It's not superficial to be a woman״
Jewish conflict 56 years old, married for the second time and invests considerable sums in grooming to maintain a youthful appearance. She is in a managerial position in a large company, and always appears in luxurious clothing. "Dress to impress" she says and adds "A person is not only content but also packaging, and the packaging should be excellent. I love brands. I invest in the best skin care products, dermatologists, aesthetics and clothes, eat only what is allowed to To maintain the weight and I'm happy with the result. No, it's not superficial, it's part of being a woman who knows how to appreciate herself.
I also like my man to be well dressed, with the smell of expensive perfume and a good car. Intelligence and personality are not the only thing that matters. Of course I expect my man to be successful, but it's important to me that he looks good. Whoever tells you that appearance is not important as much as character is not telling the truth. In the end what makes the click is the sight, the smell, the smart word, it triggers the initial ignition. I believe that just as cats clean themselves and birds spread their wings to show their beauty, humans should also look beautiful and not be neglected."
The weak women turned out to be strong
In less developed countries in terms of gender equality, in old-school social groups, men are asked to go out and earn a living, to be brave and face the wars of existence, to develop resilience, courage and toughness and to avoid multiple expressions of emotion. Alone dare otherwise, few meet themselves felt the creative man who is ready to connect with his other side.
In those places where there is no thought of gender equality, such as in religious societies, the attitude is emphasized that women are weaker and therefore men should take care of and protect them from themselves. On the professional level there is a glass ceiling that does not always allow women to advance, in relationships men allow themselves to be harsh and abusive towards women and they have to deal with social pressure that asks them to stay at home and not complain, to contain and be silent. The few who manage to develop leadership outside of the family often find themselves alone, socially excluded and without a relationship.
Thinking about where Israel is on this map, it seems that we are in a process, taking a step forward and staying with one foot in the air. On the one hand women are warriors, brave, leaders and mothers, and on the other hand the men are asked to be muscular and have leadership and control skills. You are allowed to be afraid but you have to stand up, you are allowed to be excited but without ceasing to be heroes and heroines.
A strange mutation that reality proved to be possible on October 7th and even before but we didn't emphasize it until then - see the entry of Inspector Shafra Bokharis, commander of the Ramat Negev region of the Border Guard, mother of 10 children, as well as Idan Amadi, an actor, an exciting singer and a heroic fighter. Relationship in the era of the leg in the air is a particularly difficult task.
Relationships of independent companies
The basic needs remain the same needs: need for love, recognition, a sense of security, belonging, space for personal expression and happiness, needs that ask the environment to address. The desire to be worthy, desirable and significant becomes a difficult challenge as the culture develops, because the individual becomes an independent person who does not depend on others nor on the community or the tribe, a citizen of the world who is no longer sure that he can function in a relationship.
If in the past there was the satisfaction of being able to give to others, to make your husband or wife happy, then today the concern for oneself is increasing and the desire to satisfy the needs of others seems like a less desirable task. You do it alone and the "together" goes away.
The research reveals that Israel still largely exists in a patriarchal norm, assigning the role of the main breadwinner to the man, and the smaller part which is gradually increasing, sees both spouses as breadwinners. It turns out that more relationships break up when the woman earns more than the man and seemingly threatens his status as the main breadwinner.
Another study that was done brought up findings according to which when women are more educated than men and also earn more, their chance of divorce is higher mainly because they are not afraid to leave. According to the same study, women who have integrated into the labor market have a sense of security and independence, they do not need a man to provide for them or make decisions for them, and they are free from the fear of breaking up a marriage or the fear that they will not be able to manage in the world alone.
At the same time, the relationships have changed and are less based on dependence and more on friendships and common everyday matters. Independence, it turns out, is an experience that used to be reserved mainly for men and is slowly trickling into the world of women. In Afghanistan, the law prevents women from studying and also appearing in public in order not to reach a state of women's independence.
In other Muslim countries the law prevents women from driving or walking around without a man accompanying them, in the ultra-Orthodox Jewish sector it is different, many women acquire an education and go out to earn a living while the men are invited to study and develop on the Torah level and this does not harm the relationship, even though the ultra-orthodox establishment is also patriarchal, giving the authority and the decision to men.
The "shmanophobia" and the pressure to lose weight
Let's go back for a moment to "be beautiful and shut up", as well as to "be a man man". In the past these were the two main approaches. As smart as you were, it was more important to be beautiful. As smart as the man was, it was more important that he prove himself to be brave and a social leader. And it led everyone to try to be someone other than what they are. I'm sure that at least once in your life you've been on a diet, or you've avoided some food because it makes you fat, and I'm not talking about the obesity that harms your health.
At least once in your life you did some action just to look "man man" or "woman woman". The internet is full of these videos. A fit father and mother who want to give the body of anyone who is willing to listen, the shapely and essential look, as well as the advertising of those who eat gluten-free, others who offer a low-carb ketogenic diet, and other different types of ways of eating, thinking and treatment whose stated goal is health, and the true goal of the majority of participants in the experiment is to lose weight.
The aesthetic approach of the Western world and of Israel says: thin is beautiful, fat is not beautiful. As much as it irritates and discriminates between people, the "shemanophobia", the fear of obesity and fat people, has raised the big stars that work against it: diet pills, injections that started as a treatment for diabetes and were found to give a feeling of satiety and support weight loss, and gyms that are multiplying. Are thin people happier? It turns out that in some cases yes and in others no.
Happiness depends on many factors including self-image. When weight change contributes to a positive self-image, this promotes happiness, but when the inner joy does not arise, weight change does not help to be happier. Especially after the age of 40, when the potential for obesity is on the rise. Metabolism changes and life span also changes. Studies show that starting around the age of 40, people gain weight and the percentage of fat gradually, and fat concentrations are formed in different areas of the body.
In order to maintain a healthy weight in advanced decades, one must persist in healthy eating habits and physical activity. The question of what a healthy diet is is another question, because what is healthy for one person is not necessarily suitable for another. For example, alcohol consumption, which is considered unhealthy for the liver, turns out to be essential to maintain memory in the third age.
A study that examined over 600 seniors aged 60 and over revealed that drinking up to two servings of alcohol, 1-2 glasses of wine or beer a day, improved memory among the subjects. Another study showed that moderate consumption of beer reduces the chances of heart disease by about 20%, of course in combination with a healthy diet and longevity.
Natural and effortless beauty: Europe
In Europe and England the emphasis is on natural and effortless beauty, wrinkles and graying hair are welcomed with love. In Latin America, female beauty requires a slightly full body, thick lips and a small nose. The Plastic Surgery Organization of Venezuela reveals that the most common surgery there is breast augmentation, and the age of the patients gradually decreases and reaches up to high school girls. Male beauty in Latin America requires muscularity, an agile body and a developed sense of rhythm, as well as diverse courting skills.
The aesthetic culture in the African continent is very different from the rest of the world. Surveys conducted in some countries reveal that there is an aversion to thinness, which indicates poverty, and a longing for high weight among women, especially, who marry at a young age. In some countries in Africa, families usually fatten girls from the age of 5, so that they will be fatter and more attractive for marriage.
One can find in tribes in Africa as well as in the East, an aesthetic culture of tattoos, creating intentional scars to change the texture of the skin, inserting tools to widen the lower lip in the mouth, earrings that widen the earlobes and rings that lengthen the neck.
In different countries, the men also go through different types of cultural processes to prove their masculinity, maturity rites that, when looked at with a western eye, look dangerous and abusive. Rituals that include whippings, body cuts, encounters with poisonous ants, various hangings and other ways that in some cases inflicted deformities and caused death.
In Israel you have to stay young, or at least look like you're young. To look like actors in movies, undergo stretches and surgeries, injections and suctions. While in European countries the old man is allowed, in Israel as in the US, the old man is worth less. To be successful, you have to show taut skin, erect stature, muscular arms for men and an upright chest for women, which creates a luxurious living space for cosmetic facial treatments and plastic surgeons.
The Western world asks men to prove their strength in creative ways, to have high financial capabilities, to dare, to express and lead, to make decisions and stick to them, all without losing the ability to be sensitive and attentive. The new man should be a kind of superman, Mr. Universe robust and sensitive, a man of the world who knows how to cook and indulge, a wise man who will be a partner and a friend, a mentally sensitive person who will be inclusive and powerful, a man of solutions who is able to fix the broken device or drill a hole in the wall to hang a shelf. The new man needs reinforcements for his appearance and should know how to give reinforcements to his partner. Superman at least.
"I look young and that's important to me"
Yigal, single about 50 years old, calls himself Superman. He goes out early in the morning for a bike ride, and when he returns from work he goes straight to the gym, where he does yoga and meditation and makes sure to nurture his body as well as his mind. "I'm still young, and I intend to stay young for many more years. Children? Not suitable for now. Maybe in two or three years I'll want to have a child, but for now I don't want to stop my life and commit to parenthood.
I go on cycling trips in all kinds of places in the world, I work long hours, I have nowhere to put parenting. What about a relationship? I have a kind of relationship with a divorced woman who already has children, she also likes sports very much so we are compatible in terms of activity. It is a relationship that is comfortable for both of us, and good for us together.
She's 41, and looks like she's 30. Why does this matter? This is important to me, I look young and I want a lady who knows how to take care of herself. It is not the age that makes the difference but the attitude. I have a friend whose partner is older than him. As long as you are groomed and fit, it doesn't matter. But the way I see my life, looks matter. If there is a man who tells you that looks are not important to him, then he is not real. There is no such thing as a man not seeing that his wife is attractive and aesthetic and that she looks good."
Superman is looking for Super Woman
While the Israeli man must be fit and have a sense of humor, the women are asked to be a kind of superwoman. They are asked to be creative, financially independent, so that they can support themselves and are not dependent on a man to provide for them, and they strive for achievements. Along with this, they are asked to be soft, pleasant and full of compassion, motherly and familial.
The new woman has to take care of the home and family and also manage a career, be a good friend to her partner and also raise children, do laundry and cook. The new world in which everyone does everything, creates tensions on the distribution of powers, and the question of what it is like to be a woman or what it is like to be a man, receives multiple answers, contradictory things that miraculously coexist in some cases.
We started with Miss Universe and Mr. Universe, a woman and a man who are chosen based on their external beauty and human quality, and there is no doubt that they are at least as beautiful and quality people as all those who follow them on the various media channels.
After October 7, it is clear that women are strong, capable and know the job. The approach to beauty treatments means investing a lot to look natural, and to transmit vitality. The era of the elders of the tribe, the respected "eldars" as well as the days of the wise elders who, from their age and life experience know better what is right, is probably over. Men, like women, want to be beautiful, young and up-to-date, take pictures of smiles and happiness as if they never get tired, and only in rooms do they allow themselves to let go and rest.
Interesting and true because everything written here exists in reality.