After declaring, just last week, that in recent months I have been avoiding books related to the difficult events that befell us, I stood next to the pile of waiting books. My eyes hunted you 578 של Yoram Kaniuk. Nothing less and nothing more, a return to that war, which may never have ended. 'No, Lily, absolutely not!' I proved myself out loud. 'But when, when will I read something of his?', the ping and pong continued and the next thing I remember is the book being open. Well, I gave in, I'll start and see.
A lie that comes from a search for truth
Almost sixty years later, Yoram Kaniuk sat down to look at the white of the eye of the 1978 war. Although he is aware of the limitation of memory to faithfully reproduce what was, he writes so beautifully the idea of "A lie that comes from a search for truth can be truer than the truth". Throughout the story he repeats and emphasizes "I remember"In the same breath with clarifications such as: "In these things that I write again and again, there exists - in heat and noise and distress and pain and anger and wonder - the problem of memory".
And having made it clear that the testimony is limited, if you decide to read his story, be prepared to receive a lot of kafos or 'chavahots', in the language of the Saber who grew up in Tel Aviv before the establishment of the state. That's not surprising, right? A 17-year-old boy who leaves school and joins the fighting in the conditions that prevailed in those days, in the illusory battles that we once learned about as history, the sights he sees, the smells he smells, the injuries, the losses, can't get any good, as they say, from such a painful story.
the war
I choose to quote here sentences from different places in the story, which I think tell, without assumptions, the war:
"I drew roofs, and in particular one roof from which I probably thought I wanted to jump."
"Before going into battle they would say to the kibbutz elders, dig the graves as fast as possible because we are on our way."
"I shouted that I'm only afraid until something happens, but when something happens I'm not afraid."
"The morning after the battles, we divided the clothes of the dead between us."
"I was waiting for death to rest a little."
I could not leave 2018 from the moment of the dedication to his dead and living friends until the end. In his book, Yoram Kaniuk sewed the patchwork quilt of the battles, the comrades in arms, the family, the fragments of humanity of that time, the Arabs of Lod, an Arab of many cultures - death and life. And I, the reader, on The sewing machine, along with it, internalizes that this is the blanket of our lives here, even if it is not pleasant to be covered with it.
The writer writes from the heights of his age and with soul-searching and insights like "Heroism is not only winning but also failing". He doesn't explain the language to us either, he speaks the speech that was and somehow it is still possible to understand and this is part of the magic in which he writes this story of his. A day has passed since I finished reading and I feel that my eyes saw, my ears heard, my nose smelled and I finished Passover with a bitter taste. Only the touch didn't participate, I wouldn't know who to hug first.
Yoram Kaniuk presented everything here
And this accessibility made me want more of him.
I opened Wikipedia. One of the first things written there about a person is their date of birth. I smiled. Kaniuk was born on May 2, 1930. Maybe I'm sentimental, but I felt like a missing hand pulled his book out of the pile for me this week. Here you are reading this column on his day, on my day. Today, May 2, I will celebrate the anniversary of my years and raise a glass to my life in memory of Yoram Kaniuk.
I feel it was a privilege for me to read this book and regarding the question of whether remains or is released In my private library, 2018 indeed remaining. Maybe I'll make it a habit to read his letters around this time of year. And another thing that Yoram Kaniuk left me as a gift; A memoir that I started after reading it.
Although I have been keeping a diary for many years and have written short and long stories, one should record one's memories, also mediated by the spirit of time. Maybe after reading you will also want to sit on a window and write a memory, maybe some secret capsule for a cow and a horse.
Book details:
2010 by Yoram Kaniuk, Mishkal - publishing house from the foundation of Yedioth Ahronoth and Seferi Hamad, XNUMX.
Pleasant reading and may good words be by your side always,
Lily