"With every sound that came out of her mouth, he felt that he was placing another piece of his heart in her hands" • Chapter 19 in the book 'Bat Number Four'

introduction

In recent years I have had the privilege of spending time on the water, sailing far away and embroidering words. I became familiar with the scene of sailing yachts from the Kishon anchorage to Cyprus, a tough voyage of a day or more, with a charm that only sunset and sunrise at sea can fill the heart with. 

Those who follow the blog here, which follows the episodes that come up every week, can't really miss my great love for the sea. And since the sea is a balm and healer for me, it was also natural to bring Hila together with the water, another step towards her recovery. 

In our story, John continues to meet at night with the lovable sailor, Circassian, at the anchor pub in the lower town. You met Cherkas for the first time in episode 10 and you are invited to remember, here in the link:

In the episode before you, John doesn't just take Hila out of the monastery, he takes her for a cruise in the port of Haifa in the boat of Charkas, who turns out to be a man with a big heart. Regarding Hila and John, with each passing day, the trust grows and the relationship between them tightens. 

Pleasant reading.

Chapter 19

"Circus, I want to bring a girl with me to you on the boat." John sipped the beer the bartender placed in front of him on the bar and looked at his friend.

"Oh, now you're talking to the point! I told you you needed a girl, didn't I?"
"Not that kind of girl, Cherkes," he scolded him. "She is my patient and I have a feeling that the sea will help her get better."
"Sure, sure, the sea heals the mind, the soul and the body. What's wrong with your girl?"
"She's not my girl and I can't tell you what she has."

Cherkes just raised an eyebrow and told him, "No problem, Dr. Ahlan and Sahlan, as they say with us, bring her and we'll make her a crazy life."
"That's right, I need you to promise me that you won't touch her, not even a handshake, and that you won't ask her too many questions."
"Understood. No questions asked and no touching your wife."

"Circus!"

"I'm kidding, kidding. When do you want to bring her?"
"I don't know, I just thought of this idea yesterday and I'm not sure she'll even agree to come."

"Look, I arrive at the boat every day at five, except Saturday. You can come on any day that suits you and we'll take the girl sailing."
"Thank you, my friend, I owe you."

"You don't owe me anything. Well, maybe the beer tonight will be on you." They laughed because every time they met by chance in a pub, John invited him for a beer.

John ordered a taxi to take them to the port. Even when he first arrived in Haifa, when he left the Palmer Gate to Ha-Atzmaut Street, he refused to take a taxi. The monastery was always conducted on foot or by bicycle. It made him laugh that bikes had license numbers like cars. At least they didn't ask him to show licenses, as it turned out was customary here until recently. Israel was decades away from London, but he loved the primitiveness of this young country. 

This time, with Hila, he didn't risk it. He didn't want her around people and also believed she wouldn't agree to it. 

Hila was quiet all the way to the anchorage, and only her hand firmly holding his was evidence of the tension she felt. He wasn't going to complain about it. She can hold his hand until he reasons. Before their trip, he asked Father Francis about her family's place of residence and asked the taxi driver to take alternative routes. The driver reassured him that Crusader Street was in a different direction. The road went down from Stella Maris to the German Colony and from there to Ha-Atsamat Street and to the entrance to the anchorage. It was five in the morning and the fishermen had already gone out to sea. It was excellent because apart from Circassians there weren't many around. They got out of the cab and John nodded at the driver who raised his hand in confirmation, not to worry, he would be back here as they had agreed to pick them up back at the monastery.

"Good morning, Doctor!" Cherkes greeted them, "We are expecting a calm sea, I'm not sure there will be enough wind to open a sail." John smiled and thanked him in his heart, he knew he could trust this man who would soon become a dear friend. He felt how Hila loosened her tight grip on his hand and her eyes darted excitedly between the water and the boats.

"Good morning, Cherkes, this is Hila, and she agreed to host me as a company on the voyage today, so that I won't be stuck alone with your stories." Hila didn't laugh, but smiled widely and he knew how rare it was to get those smiles from her.

John was debating how to jump into the boat. He could not do this without leaving her hand. "I'll jump first, okay?" When he looked at her he hesitantly nodded and released his hand. He squeezed her lightly before jumping into the boat, turning back around and without thinking grabbed her waist and brought her down to him. For one brief moment he held his breath, hoping he hadn't crossed some line that would startle her, but Hila just lowered her eyes and didn't look startled.

"Welcome to my Windy!" Charx's voice freed them from the momentary embarrassment.

Hila smiled, "Windy?" 

"Yes, Windy 33 to be exact, and she's one to trust," he said, glancing at his boat. "Well, let's go now, you're no longer a guest here, Doctor. Sit the girl down and jump to untie the ropes."
John hesitated, a lot of things could go wrong. He didn't take into account how Hila would really feel and if she was ready for him to leave her even for a moment.

"Go already, Doctor." He heard the amusement in her voice and was relieved.

The departure to the sea was accompanied by stories from Circassians about the establishment of the port and the Thessalonians that the English brought to work in its establishment. Hila was quiet but relaxed, with a small smile on her face. Profit for John. He did well to bring her here, to the sea, to the water that could bring her a little balm. 

When they reached an area calm from the winds, Cherkes sent him to drop anchor. They sat in the stern and the friendly Spaniard served no less than an impressive breakfast. Pita and hummus and cookies and coffee. "I think I'll bring Hila more, I don't remember you bothering me like this," John teased him and was surprised to see Charx's neck red under the tan of his skin.

"My wife baked yesterday. There's nothing like Rosa's baklava."

"Bak-wah?" John reached out to take one when he heard Aura join in Charkas' rolling laughter. Her whole body was shaking with laughter and it didn't bother him at all that the joke was about him.

"Aren't you swimming today, Doctor?"

"I'm fine here, mate," he was quick to reply. Of course he wanted to jump into the pleasant water, but today he will give up. There is no way he will leave Hila. Everything is great so far.

"You don't swim because of me," she said just into his ear.
"Hey, I'm glad you're here." He squeezed her hand for reassurance.

"Do you know how to swim?" It was an innocent question from the kind Cherkes, he reached for a life belt to offer it to her and did not see that she began to tremble slightly. John hugged her and she buried her head in his chest. "You can –" Cherkes turned back to her and his eyes widened in understanding. He left them there and moved to Khartoum.

"I'm sorry," she said without looking up.
"Everything is fine, Hila. You have nothing to be sorry for, ever."
"But I want you to get in the water, to swim like you normally do." She suddenly straightened up and moved away from him.
"Hila, I don't have to swim, every day I have the sea near the church, it's not –"

"I'm asking you, John. This is important to me." He looked at her for a long time, trying to understand, wanting to know what deterred her, what happened to her. He still has so much to learn about her. Sometimes he wasn't sure that the six months he had left in Israel would be enough to make substantial progress in treating her. To his surprise, she turned towards the bow and joined the Cherkes. He couldn't hear their conversation, but they looked at him as they talked.

"Come on, Doctor, give us your famous jump." 

John laughed as he remembered how Charkes had yelled at him the first time he jumped head first from the upper deck. He removed his shirt and unzipped his pants before climbing up, winked at Aura and jumped into the lapping water.

"He's a good guy," Cherkes told her as they watched John swim around the boat. Hila nodded slowly. After many months it was strange to talk to someone else from the monastery. 

"Have you always worked on a boat?"

"No, absolutely not. It took me a while to get rid of my wife's father," he laughed. "He put me to work at the port, on the cranes. And it would be unthinkable that someone with a regular job, especially at the port of Haifa, would leave it. So I waited three months after he passed away, so that it wouldn't be too obvious, and I immediately bought this beauty."

"So you take people on cruises here in the port of Haifa?"
"Not just in port, girl. We're sailing to Cyprus and even as far as Greece."
"Sounds fascinating."
"Maybe someday you'll sail with me. I promise you you won't regret it."
"I'm sure it will be fun," she smiled at him, "I just think you're wrong. We're not a couple. It's not like that. Dr. Bell is," she wanted to keep the impression that they were a couple and not what they really were, but she wasn't going to lie To this kind man. "Dr. Bell is my doctor. He's been treating me for a long time."

"I'm sorry to hear you're so sick." Circassian looked really sad until she felt the need to calm him down.
"I'm not going to die, Cherkes, don't worry. I… I had problems at home and there was someone who helped me and brought John to take care of me."

color?" Hila lowered her eyes in embarrassment. Calling her doctor by his first name was weird. She didn't know how to explain her and John's relationship. She didn't even have to explain until now. "Maybe he's your doctor, maybe you're his patient. But Circassian has eyes and the doctor only has eyes for you, girl." Hila was not stupid. She knew it wasn't normal, John's behavior and their relationship. But it wouldn't have changed anything. He brought her back to life, he gave her back the will to live. In the hours she was with him she got more than she ever had. She wasn't innocent either, she thought bitterly, so it didn't matter at all what he thought of her or she of him. She couldn't be the wife of any man, and the respectable doctor certainly wouldn't be with someone flawed.

When he returned from swimming John was surprised to see Hila sitting on the stern, her feet in the water. "Well, bye," he said after recovering.
She smiled her little smile and unexpectedly splashed his face with her foot. "Don't start something you don't yet understand what awaits you. Although I was born in cold London, water wars in the Serpentine always ended when I –" he couldn't finish and a jet of water splashed straight into his mouth.

If he had stopped to think for a moment, and not been carried away with the moment, he would not have done what he did. He jumped up and climbed the ladder to the boat. She already got up and started running towards the bow, but didn't get far. He slung her like a sack of potatoes over his shoulder and jumped back into the water.

Only when they rose above the surface of the water, and she began to cough, did he curse himself. She didn't even answer if she knew how to swim! Maybe she can't swim! He held her now, hugged her and patted her on the back. "I'm sorry, Hila, what an idiot I am. Don't worry, I'll get you back to the boat." The last thing he expected was for her to break free from his grip and dive for her pleasure. And he certainly didn't expect her to come up behind him and dunk his head in the water.

His heart pounded with excitement. When did you feel so happy? Does he have the right to feel so good by her side? and she? She looked like a real twenty-year-old, healthy, light and happy. With every sound of laughter that emanated from her mouth he felt that he was placing another piece of his heart in her hands. He won't think about winter now. He won't think about what will happen to him when he leaves. No. He allowed himself to get confused here. It is unthinkable to develop such feelings for a patient. Yes, he should remind himself that she is indeed being treated, even if his heart decided otherwise. Not the will of the heart will determine everything related to the halo, but the will of the hour. He will take care of her, he will do everything for her to come back to life before he leaves Israel. She is the one who matters. That's why he studied medicine. He will save her. And if it is at the cost of breaking his heart, so be it.

John followed Charx's gaze, who frowned at the sight of Hila lying on the bench with her eyes closed. The sleeve of her water-soaked shirt, which she refused to remove, rose to reveal the rough scar on her wrist. Tears came to the eyes of the sensitive water man. 

color!" Hila sat up in a panic and he rushed to her. Probably fell asleep and dreamed. His heart breaks at the thought of the times she wakes up and he is not by her side. He hugged her trembling body to him until she was quiet and caressed her hair, which for the first time since he had known her was loose and not braided. She scattered it after they got out of the water. Now he saw how long it was, and again he was surprised at how black it was against the light of her face. "It's all right, little darling, it's all right."

He looked at Cherkes, who in the meantime had raised the anchor, and did not miss his hand which was moistened by his tears.

Hila was too tired, too exhausted to feel embarrassed by Cherkes, but he didn't look at her out of the ordinary, continued to tell endless stories and bid her farewell with an invitation to come again soon.

John didn't let go of her hand after he helped her onto the platform. Before they advanced to the taxi that was waiting for them he turned to her, without words he watched her and she him. Her heart sped up and she gasped in excitement. John reached out and stroked her hair. "Aura," he whispered and his gaze followed his caressing hand. Suddenly his movements froze and he withdrew his hand and buried it in his pants pocket.