Hot, experiential, and expensive - the economy of the great vacation • Tammy Goldstein

The big holiday is upon us and with it the cascade of opportunities for summer experiences opens. Camps, summer camps, trips around the world, classes and training, adventures and experiences. A chocolate camp where you learn to make cakes and a variety of sweets, a football camp for those who want to be Messi when they grow up, a nature camp for well-wishers and an English camp for those who want to know the language better. Summer camps abroad, summer camps in Israel, swimming lessons, sailing and surfing experiences, flights to exotic places and faraway cities, and much more, just so that the two hot months of summer will pass with pleasure.

It seems that it is "everyone", but there are also those who do not go to any of these places and stay among the family, far from the friends who hang out in the meantime, and although the choice is not always in the hands of the children, the feeling is one of being missed and deprived.

The economic pressure in this period is increasing

As parents, we would not want our child to experience missing out and deprivation, but financially from the moment we decided to purchase for them everything sold in a summer experience, we reached a slippery slope. Expenses, expenses and expenses and finally, a little more to finish everything. For families who did not plan the large expense of the vacation and did not organize for it in advance, the financial pressure during this period increases and so does the pressure on the relationships within the family.

The trust and communication between the couple

Studies show a connection between economic pressure and financial stress and conflicts within the family, and increasing the chance of a breakup in a relationship. The financial pressure may create pressure and this will have long-term consequences on the trust and communication between the couple.

When one of the spouses wants to invest in activities during the vacation while the other party prefers to avoid it due to financial considerations, the tension in the relationship increases the risk of ending the relationship.

Moreover, when there is a financial gap between the spouses. This means that one of the spouses earns a high salary and the other does not, and when the decisions regarding expenses in general and the summer vacation in particular, are made by the husband of the century without consideration of the other side, the spouses will suffer, and their experience of self-worth and happiness will decrease. A study published in the USA in the magazine for marriage and family, investigated the relationship between economic differences between the couple and the chances of divorce, and found that when the differences are high, the tension in the relationship is higher, and the chances of breaking up the relationship and divorce, increase.

The anxiety threshold rises

Economic pressure encourages conflict, and the heat of July and August only increases the pressures. Even so, the expenses for air conditioning and cooling the house increase, the expenses of the economy increase when all the members of the household are together, and the friction increases.

When the expenses are high for a vacation, summer camps or summer camps of all kinds, the anxiety threshold rises. On the one hand, the fear of harming the children, denying them what "all their friends" get, giving them the feeling that they are worth less, that they are not invested in them, perhaps even reducing their chances of being successful in the future, and on the other hand, the financial anxiety that the entire family will enter into commitments that will not be possible meet them. It is confusing from a value and educational point of view.

On the one hand High spending on a vacation may promote material values ​​over social and spiritual values, giving a feeling that pleasure is related to money, that purchase and reckless consumption are the ways to happiness. The observation that what others can afford is not necessarily what the family can afford may give a sense of class, and an experience as if the family that cannot spend the high amounts is of a lower status. This may change the value system of the family and present as if money determines a person's worth.

On the other hand, a family vacation and a joint trip around the country or the world are an experience that will create lifelong memories, quality time, photo albums, a connection of joy and love. Adventures of the children or the whole family can be a resource of knowledge and experience for everyone. The children who go out for activities during the summer enrich their general knowledge, social skills, gain experiences and memories.

The activities in many fields teach about different cultures, about food, history and the history of the country and the world. Enrichment of knowledge and experience that cannot be obtained at home only with family members.

The question of what is true and what is possible has several correct answers

There are several things that should be done to avoid tensions and the confusing frustration of the mother going into debt and cutting back on all areas of spending to allow the children the dream summer vacation, or whether to prevent the children from doing what "everyone" except them is doing.

There are several correct answers to the question of what is right and what is possible, but first of all you should find out what the children want. From wishes made in the past it turns out that many times it is the parents who want the prestigious places for their children and not necessarily the children who ask for it.

Sometimes the children don't want to go anywhere at all, they prefer to stay at home during the summer, and the parents push to go out for activities. That's why it's worth finding out and only after you've found out what your children want, start planning the budget. And of course it is desirable to do it well in advance.

economic planning

Financial planning encourages growth and gives a positive meaning to every planned expenditure, instead of it becoming a subject of strife, stress and anxiety. The children in a family that manages a budget, learn to manage themselves, and in the future they will know how to plan financial moves better.

In order to minimize the anxiety and potential conflicts that arise due to surprises in expenses, unexpected costs of summer activities, it is useful to hold an open discussion about things and decide together how much money to spend, and what should be chosen from among all the options. It is important to understand everyone's points of view and to find common solutions that do not cause a feeling of deprivation or sacrifice on the part of any of the parties. Sometimes searching for cheaper alternatives for the same activity can provide a solution that will suit everyone.

The child may act in negative ways that will give him a sense of power

You should take into account what the child goes through when his friends go on an active vacation and his parents don't have the money to pay for it. He may feel that he is missing out on important experiences and moments that strengthen social ties, he may feel socially out of place, powerless, angry and jealous, and to compensate himself the child may act in negative ways that will give him a sense of power.

It is important to allow the child to express his feelings, to listen to what he wants, to his needs, it is important to recognize even if he does not say the things clearly and to be attentive to the emotional processes of the child who has to deal with financial difficulty, things that are beyond his control.

Financial anxiety

Financial anxiety is a term that refers to a feeling of uncertainty and worry related to a person's personal or family financial situation. Financial anxiety is a feeling of not being able to deal with the economic framework in which a person operates, difficulty in planning daily expenses, a situation that may be caused by fear of losing sources of income or concern for a financial future in the shadow of heavy debts.

Financial anxiety manifests as severe worry, fear, nervousness and tension, lack of existential happiness. It affects the tensions between people in the family and the ability to plan and achieve financial goals. Financial anxiety is a cause of depression, lack of self-confidence, social distancing, ineffective conduct and wrong decision-making.

Social support is very important to help deal with financial anxiety and improve the ability to make wise financial decisions in future planning. That's why it's important to talk with other parents about the summer camps, share the concerns and financial pressures caused by the costs of the summer activities, and if necessary, look for alternative solutions together that can be cheaper and suitable for everyone.

Low cost and high quality vacation

In a positive aspect, it is useful to look for and find creative solutions, activities that can be done with the children and spend the vacation with them at lower costs but with great pleasure. This can mean trips to camping grounds, visiting sites around the country, nature trips, museums, movies, amusement parks, and creating activities in the home space such as organizing interesting recipes that can be prepared together, creative activities, and the like.

You should check what is offered to the public for a low fee or for free, and prefer activities and connection to spaces where you can enjoy yourself on a low budget. At the same time, it is right to encourage the children to keep in touch with their friends even if they are not participating in the same activity, to correspond, to transfer videos, to share experiences. In this way, social belonging will remain even if the budget is lower.

After all this, one should understand that there may still be dealing with difficult emotions such as jealousy, sadness or a sense of deprivation. It would be right to understand, to accommodate, to look for alternatives that would be good enough to give the children a proper summer experience without harming the family's values, and to try to plan the budget better for next year's summer.