Lawrence and Natalie, two proud and impressive young people
Haifa is known as a socially diverse city: ethnic groups, a combination of Jewish and new immigrants, different religions, Arab Muslims and Christians and more. Within this ethnic diversity, this, of everyone, it also flourishes a wide community in which live Russians, Arabs, Sabers and much more, that in the connection between them, the place they came from has very little meaning. Meet Natalie and Lawrence, definitely proud Haifaim.
Drama in the family and support from friends
Natalie Ponomarenko, a 25-year-old resident of Haifa, was born in Ukraine and immigrated to Israel with her family when she was one and a half years old. When she was 11 years old she returned with her family to Ukraine, and 4 years ago she came to Israel again, to Haifa, this time alone. Today she is a student of communication and English literature at the University of Haifa. Ponomarenko defines herself as bisexual and is very proud of it.
Natalie is very active in the LGBT field. He publishes her thoughts on her Instagram page, she shares information about the gay community and the LGBT movement, she uploads posts that deal with sexism, masculinity and femininity. For her, concepts such as masculinity and femininity do not really exist, but it is society that dictates them to us.
When she was about 18, Natalie realized she was also attracted to women. At the age of 20, she decided to tell her close friends about it. And she has many of them, from all kinds of places and times: childhood friends from Ukraine, Russians, Druze, traditional Jews, Sabers... No one cut off contact with her because of her sexual identity. Her biggest fear was telling her family. Since her relatives are traditional, she knew that the discovery would be problematic for them.
"It was hard for me to hold my face and lie"
Natalie says:
I knew my mother would not accept my coming out of the closet. She lives in Crimea, society there doesn't really accept it. I knew they wouldn't take it positively. Still, it was important for me to get those thoughts off of me. It was hard for me to keep them inside and keep lying.
Indeed, it was very dramatic. Natalie uploaded a post on Instagram, in which she wrote that she was going to participate in the pride parade in Haifa. "The whole family on my mother's side found out and did not accept it in any way. To this day we are not in touch, mainly following my coming out of the closet, but that's how it is and it's my decision," she says. Only Natalie's father accepted his daughter the way she is. She Lives in Israel and has a good relationship between them.
It's all a matter of society, tradition and education
Ponomarenko claims that LGBT people are hardly accepted in Russian society. "I encounter a lot of sexist questions, misunderstandings and disgusting primitive sexual questions," she says, "all because I am bisexual." their popularity in modern society, and only in Russian society are they still used as humiliation and rudeness."
Share without fear
During the time when she discovered her sexual identity, it was difficult for her to be exposed socially and to accept being "different". Today Natalie is proud of who she is and is completely open about the issue: "It's a very big part of me. The worst thing I could do to myself is to deny my feelings,' she says.
Natalie shares:
It really helped me to connect with all kinds of groups of the gay community. For example, the Haifa University's gay chapter was very supportive of me and I found close friends there. It really helped me accept myself and make others accept me, share without fear of being judged. Everyone was by my side, supporting him, sending me happy and supportive things on Instagram. There were even people I don't know among them.
Lawrence Christian
Lawrence Christian Dow, 23 years old, was born and raised in Haifa. Lawrence works as a bartender and sells his art. Lawrence defines himself as homosexual, he came out at the end of seventh grade, beginning of eighth grade, but in fact, he says, it was a process that took several years.
When he was a young boy, he decided to share with his friends from the neighborhood and the youth center. As he expected, some of his friends distanced themselves from him, but there were those who accepted the "new Lawrence" and remained close friends. With his mother, he says, it was not an easy process, which went through challenging stages.
Mother's choice
Before he came out of the closet to his mother, he was afraid that he would find himself thrown out of the house. Despite these concerns, he felt he had to share with her, and could not continue living in the same house with her without doing so. He decided that he would do it together with the social worker.
Lawrence says: "I told her. We sat in the room in silence, for almost 5 minutes we just looked into each other's eyes without saying a word. The tension was terrible. The social worker tried to "calm" my mother and said all kinds of depressing sentences, like 'He is a child, he has A few more years until he knows for sure what he is', or 'I hope you know that this is not the only way...'
Suddenly my mother stopped her and said: 'I didn't know that, but in any case, if this is who you are - then be. I love you always and know that the worst step for me would be to keep you away from me. As you are my son, you are also the son of the world and I will never take away from you the right to be free. I can't decide for you who you are or what you are, but I can support you to love you and that's my choice.''
"There is no difference between the Arab, Russian and Sabrian society"
Lawrence is convinced that the society he comes from has no meaning. The main thing, according to him, is to find people who will support you, no matter if they are Russians, Ethiopians, Arabs, or of any other origin. "I will always know how to stay away from brainwashed, cowardly and toxic people, who are not ready to accept someone with a different attitude than theirs, and who are unable to change their minds."
The common denominator between him and Natalie, Lawrence believes, is humanity and tolerance. "Without any doubt, tolerance, inclusion, listening, these allow people to exist and live side by side, without hatred for others, in acceptance and humanity."
Friends who are like me
In order to deal with people who do not accept him and with the unpleasant experiences that his sexual identity brings him, he meets a social worker once a week and also, gathered around him friends who understand and accept him. "My friends are very open people, who represent the next generation, a generation that seeks to solve problems and conflicts, a generation that strives to express itself, create, love and breathe life into what is wasted. Lawrence also visits the "Communities House" in the Hadar neighborhood, and the weekly meeting with the social worker helps for him to find solutions to his various daily challenges.
Haifa and LGBT people
Ponomarenko thinks that Haifa is very suitable for the activities of the gay community. "Pride parades are held here and the people are quite open to such events. But there are places in the city where it is more difficult to be exposed, I don't always feel comfortable in terms of expressing feelings, sharing what I'm going through, depending on where," she says.
Lawrence is sure that the community in Haifa can be equal throughout the city, without difference or discrimination of any kind, and precisely the diversity here can help raise awareness of the issue: "As a gay Haifa Arab boy who is out of the closet and proud of it, I know that the fears of the gay community here are many. Personally, I I feel that the biggest difficulty I face is the need to hide, as if to protect myself from the outside. I can't generalize the entire gay community and say that everyone is dealing with the same feelings, or say that I know what everyone is going through, but it seems to me that these are the same feelings And the same fears that have always accompanied the gay community, throughout all periods.
Join Natalie and Lawrence in the Pride Parade
Natalie and Lawrence have participated in the pride parades in Haifa in previous years and plan to take part in this event this year as well. Beyond the need to be present in the parade, it is also a way for them to show their true identity, to stop worrying, to meet people with thoughts and concerns similar to their own, to support friends who are experiencing the same difficulties, and of course, to make the Haifa gay community happy and uplifting!
This year the 15th Pride Parade will be held in Haifa, Friday, 24/6/22. starting at 10 am.
Come! it will be fun!